And He is Gone
by ncisgeek
Summary: The night that Jed and Kate kissed they actually slept together and Kate gets pregnant. Jed still dies beforehand but Kate, Molly and Ryan all stay at Bedlam Heights. ONE SHOT.


**A/N: I hope this is alright. Just a one shot about Kate. Italics are Kate's thoughts.**

Kate lay sprawled diagonally across her bed. One of her hands was up by her brow the other hand rested on her stomach. She had done well, really well, to hide her largeness by wearing her loose hoodies and jogging bottoms. No one had noticed.

_What are you going to do Kate? You haven't told anyone. You can't just rock up one day like 'hey Dad. Oh by the way I gave birth today'. _

_You can't raise a child on your own … not without Jed. You idiot Kate Bettany! No … no I can't just leave my kid on there own like my Mum! _

_But I can't look after __her__._

She had been having 'practise' contractions every 2 hours or so. She felt movement against her hand "Hey you. Mind not beating me up darling" She kissed her hand and moved it down to hold her baby bump. She was 32 weeks pregnant but and big with it.

_32 weeks. 32 weeks since I left Jed in that cellar to die. _

_No! Pull yourself together Kate! _

_But … she'll be better of without me. All I'm good for is ruining things like the rest of my family._

"Kate" Molly knocked on her door.

Kate sat up quickly "Wh … what is it Molly?"

"Just wondered if you fancy going out with me and Ryan?" Molly called through the door to her blonde friend.

"No. I think I'll stay here" Kate replied.

"Oh come on Kate you haven't been out since … since Jed died"

"I said no Molly!" she shouted.

"No need to be bitchy Kate. God!"

_Keep calm Kate. Its not Molly or Ryan's fault that you're in this mess._

She heard the flat door close and breathed a sigh of relief. Molly and Ryan would be gone for hours meaning Kate could walk around freely without worrying about them seeing her swollen stomach. She took off her oversized hoodie and replaced her baggy trousers with her usual shorts. She went into the kitchen and poured herself a drink of, the only thing she was able to keep down, lemonade. She took it back with her to bed. Her head felt wooden and her legs like jelly as she sank onto the double bed. "Oomph" she felt a dull sudden pain in her abdomen. "That was a powerful kick baby. Oomph" there it was again.

_That was not a kick … Oh shit I can't be going into labour! Shit … shit … shit._

_Kate! Calm. Breath … look on the bright side, at least Mol and Ryan aren't here!_

She made her way to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bath tub.

_Jed! Why did you have to die? I need you. Come back to me Jed! I need you now._

Kate's breathing sped up as she started to panic. She lowered her head down and drew slow deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. Her elbow rested on her leg and her head on her hand. Another contraction came again. They were getting closer and closer together. "What the hell am I gonna do?" she spoke out loud through gritted teeth.

"Kate" she heard a voice.

"Jed? Jed but your dead!" she looked up and saw Jed stood in front of her.

"I know Kate. But you need me now so I've come to help you"

"What do I do?" Tears started to prick in her eyes as she looked at her dead cousin and boyfriend.

"What you need to Kate. I can't tell you what to do" he never moved an inch apart from his mouth.

"Is this how you saw them. The ghosts I mean"

"No. Your imagining me. I'm not real"

"But I need you" she pleaded the tears streaming down her cheeks now.

"Be strong Kate. I didn't save you for nothing" with that he vanished.

"Jed!" she screamed "Jed!" her voice dropped to a whisper "Come back."

_Don't leave me Jed._

She felt warm liquid run down her legs as her waters broke. She had to whip her trousers off then sat back on the edge of the tub. "Come on Bettany. You can do this" she told herself. She pushed as a contraction came and bit back a scream so as to not alert the other tenants in the flats. "Get a bloody move on Katie" she started cursing herself, her father and Jed all at once. The pushed again only this time she could not suppress the scream as the baby's head came out. She placed a hand under it's head for support and continued pushing and uttering blood curdling cries. At last it was completely out and started wailing.

"Shh … shh don't cry baby" she soothed. The baby stopped crying. "There. Good girl"

_Shit shit shit! How can I look after a kid! She's better off without me._

She wrapped the tiny little girl in a towel and replaced her trousers. She ripped a piece of paper off a pad and wrote 'Please look after me well as my mother can't. I was born at 10:37 pm today and my name is Sara (Ser – ah) Amelia'. She tucked it in the towel with the baby and then put the infant into a basket.

Her footfalls were light and fleeting as she ran at a hurried pace down the hallway. Hair flew about her as she glanced around her. _Hurry hurry Katie! _Once she was satisfied no one was about she went to the front reception desk and placed the hamper on the deserted table. She kissed her pale fingertips and brushed them gently against the child's forehead. "Take care Sara" she whispered before turning and fleeing the scene.

"Oh come on Ryan pleeease!" Molly whined dragging out the 'please' as she and Ryan stumbled into the flats.

"No Mol. I said no and I mean no" he replied.

"Your no fun ..." she stopped dead as she saw the desk "What is that?"

Ryan stopped and stared too "I don't know" they advanced forwards "Oh my God its a baby"

"Is it alright?" Molly asked concerned, leaping forwards.

"I think so. We should probably take her to hospital"

"You go. I'll go tell Kate and Warren then catch you up"

"Kay" he picked up the tiny bundle and cradled it to his chest "Come on sweetheart lets get you some help"

"Kate!" Molly called to her flatmate.

"Yes Molly?" Kate looked up from the magazine she was 'reading'.

"Ryan and I found a baby in reception" she shut the door behind her.

"What?" Kate stood up, dropping the magazine on the floor.

"Abandoned on the desk. Ryan's taking it to hospital" she was rushing her words.

"Okay. Well I'll tell my father. Thank you for letting me know" Kate managed to keep her voice calm and under control despite the screams of torture that were exploding inside her head; spiralling round like some wild vortex. _Shut up! Shut up!_

"Hello. How can I help?" the hospital receptionist asked.

"I found this baby at my flats – abandoned" Ryan held up the squirming child.

"Okay … any idea who the mother is?"

"No I'm sorry I've no idea"

"Okay. Well can I take your name please"

"Ryan. Ryan McAllister. Alright if I stick around to see if she's okay?"

"Of course".

A doctor appeared, took the child from Ryan and took her to a cot. "Lets have a look at you" he unwrapped the towel and the note fell out "Please look after me well as my mother can't. I was born at 10:37 pm today and my name is Sara Amelia … Sara Amelia what?"

"Is she alright?" Ryan jumped to his feet as soon as the doctor came out.

"She's fine as far as I can see. I er … I found this" he handed the note to Ryan who read it.

"Sara Amelia? Hebrew and Scottish. Born at 10:37. Poor little mite" he said sadly.

"Ryan!" Molly spotted him from down the hallway

"Mol there was a note on the baby her name is Sara Amelia" Ryan informed his best friend.

Kate hugged her knees to her chest as her hot stinging tears fell freely. _Keep it together. Don't let them know. They CAN'T know._ She felt dirty, worthless and useless, unable to go on. She rocked herself backwards and forwards in an attempt to calm herself. Once there were no tears left to shed she reapplied her make up before going to talk to her father.

"I'm looking for Ryan McAllister and Molly Lucas" Warren held Kate by the arm as he spoke.

"I have no one under that name here"

"They brought in a baby, little girl"

"Oh yeah that way" he pointed to the double doors opposite "Third room on the right"

"Thank you" Warren practically dragged Kate towards the others in his hast "What's going on?" he asked Molly and Ryan.

"She appears to be fine. There was a note with her it says her name is Sara Amelia and she was born at 10:37pm" Ryan told him.

"Parents?" Warren questioned.

"No clue" Ryan answered then he noticed that Kate had been oddly quiet "Y'alright Kate?"

"Yes. Fine" she muttered "Is there a bathroom round here?"

"I'll come too" Molly chipped in. She followed Kate to the bathroom "Kate …"

"Molly …"

"Sara? She's yours … isn't she?"

"I can't do this" Kate dismissed it.

"Fine" Molly turned on her heel and left.

"Where's Kate?"

"Bathroom still. Look I think I know who Sara Amelia's mum is"

"Who?"

"Kate"

"Kate?! No not Kate. Wouldn't she have told us?" Ryan's voice went from disbelieving to concerned.

"I think Jed was the dad"

"Jed and Kate were cousins!" Warren shouted.

"I know but Jed was adopted so they're not related by blood" Molly defended her friends from her landlord.

"Still! This is wrong" Warren was shushed by a passing nurse.

The trio stood in silence as Kate returned. On close inspection they could see that she had been crying and her make up re-done.

"Kate" her father's voice was level.

She looked up at him and forced a fake smile "Yes"

"Kate …"

_Keep calm Kate._

"Kate …" Warren repeated.

"Your Sara Amelia's mum aren't you" Molly interrupted.

"N … no" she stuttered.

"Cut the bullshit Kate" Warren yelled at his 24 year old daughter.

"No" she stared defiantly at him.

"Kate?" Ryan touched her arm making her jump away from him "She needs you"

_No no no. _He mouth mirrored her thoughts as she turned away: her body shaking violently. _No no no. _"I can't" her voice was quiet, high and tear filled.

"Kate darling" Molly took her by the elbow gently "She's part of you. Part of Jed? You won't ever forgive yourself" her voice was soothing and it seemed to work as Kate stopped wobbling.

"Jed" she copied Molly. Her eyes were pools of sadness as she spoke "Jed"

"Yeah Jed. Why don't you come and see her, just to see her?"

Kate looked around nervously "Okay" her voice was small and slow paced. _It … can't … hurt. _

The baby was sleeping peacefully when Molly and Kate went in. Ryan stayed outside with Warren who was absolutely fuming with Kate. There was the name Sara Amelia written on the patient notes. Kate stood there silently staring at the cot.

"You know she looks like you Kate"

The blonde woman took a deep breath before stepping forwards "Sara"

The baby opened her eyes and looked at her.

_She's so beautiful; so perfect._ "I'm so sorry"

3 years later

"Mama" the blonde haired, brown eyed child was sat on the kitchen counter.

"Sara get off the side" Kate told her without even turning round.

She slide to the floor "Mama where's my dad?"

Kate nearly dropped the plate she was holding "Well … your father um … isn't around anymore"

"But where is he?" She opened her bright brown eyes and stared up into her mothers sparkling blue ones.

"Come with me. I'll show you"

Mother and daughter stood in front of the gravestone.

"J … Jed H … H …"

"Harper" Kate helped her.

"So Daddy is here. Under this stone"

"Yes"

"Can I see him?"

Kate gave a slight laugh at her daughters innocence "No. Baby Daddy died a long time ago … before you were born"

"He died?" she sounded shocked and slightly grossed out. She was rewarded with a nod. "I love you Daddy" she touched the stone "Can we go home Mama?"

"Of course baby" she took the 3 year old's hand and they walked back to Bedlam Heights "Sara one other thing … your room. It used to be your Daddy's"

"Daddy lived in my room" she glanced around her purple room "What did it look like?"

"White. All of it completely white" she lowered her voice "Your Daddy was a bit weird sometimes" she indicated it was a secret by tapping her nose making the young girl nod solemnly.

"Daddy sounds funny"

"Yeah he was. Now run along and play"

"Love you Mama" she skipped off.

"I love you too baby"

There was a crash from the other room "Whoops" Sara shrieked.

"Sara Amy Bettany be careful!"

"Yes Kate" she mocked her mother.

"Its Mama to you little madam" Kate immediately forgave the child. No one could stay mad at little Sara Amelia Harper-Bettany for long.

_I did it. And he's gone._


End file.
